If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
