I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
