Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
