i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
