I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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