You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
