i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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