I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
