I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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