Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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