it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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