Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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