Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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