Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
