Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
