I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i out mim tonsoeep
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
