i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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