She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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