I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
