mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Say something about gay babies.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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