why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
