But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
