Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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