I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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