He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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