wrigley field is MILF paradise
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize