hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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