Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
