Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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