i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
