Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
