I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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