i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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