Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
