im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do herpes really smell.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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