I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
