Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
