Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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