rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
