you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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