i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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