Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
