i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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