im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
