My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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