At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
