i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
