I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we made out on top of his cat.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
