I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize