you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
