Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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