i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
