She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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