So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
