Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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