It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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