Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I will pee on everything he values.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
