I'm gonna have a badass scar
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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