He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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