mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
