i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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