you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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