I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
