so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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